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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in eilliw lerom in the mirror's LiveJournal:

Sunday, September 28th, 2014
11:20 pm
You
You feel so real right now
Like you are really here right now
I see you in the almond shapes
So close enough for me to taste
Even in the waves of waste
You are something that I always chase
I guess I leave it all to fate
Since every piece of us erased
No crumbs to follow, no path to trace
How come every girl I see seems to have your face
Now that I walk these streets
Possibly stepping where you once placed your feet
Tell me is it possible that we might meet?
I toss and turn at night with cold sheets
Tell me how you sleep?
Do I even cross your mind?
I suffered the silence of your presence and erased you from my mind
But only to recover a fond thought; your love was not bought
We shared so much together but forever was not fought for
To the girl I adore, in my mind you grew strong
But now the distance in reality got me thinking all wrong

I know I should just give up and walk away
Move on and let these cuffs rust and break
Just know that nothing I ever did was fake
My young mind just found it all too tough to take
Now the sobering thought that I am all alone
Got me paranoid that I might die alone
Tuesday, June 30th, 2009
3:01 pm
I dont care
I cant continute to lie
my teeth rot and die
my heart is a cavity
and your the sugar baby
make it worse for me
but I got the colgate now
and your going to fucking die
you cavity bitch.

Your like floss to my ass
cleaning out the past
although its recent
its still excrement
and I spit on your face
but with my dick

you like it rough
and your skin is tough
so I choke you
but not with my hands
why are you so damn lucky

you get all the things you want
and if you dont you just complain
I should learn how to fly
then I would have more of a chance to die

dying would be better than living in this situation
like playing twister with your sister
its just not right

you have to try
to make this easy
you sing loudly
and I wish my ears had valves I could twist shut
if it wasnt for the ninja turtle
I dont know where my life would be
because I now know that I can hide in my shell

All I need is for you to wax me
till im smooth
your in me all the time
and you turn me on
just pull on the straps and buckle in
get ready for the ride of your life
if only I really had a lambo to drive.

I rode through the desert
it was as miserable as you
but I was happpy
living in your misery
coughing up dust
was never so much fun
when I think of it as your skin
Id swallow you whole
if it was possible
Monday, June 22nd, 2009
10:36 am
Free writing ... or trying rather.
There are short stories, then there are really short stories.

The evergreen murders:
The body lied twisted and cut up. Oozing its thick blood through its hacked off limbs.
What a poor tree.

Space boy:
Astro baby bubble space cadet. He lived a life of deep regret.
In his room his days were spent, missing out on all events.

If vomit was candy then would throwing up be fun?
I throw up rainbows on occasion.
And by on occasion I mean never..
only in my head when I imagine it. Which I never really did until now.
I know I'm a liar.
Who doesn't lie? Some people lie and don't even know.
Does an innocent lie make it ok? Or are all lies just the same?
I mean if you hurt someone with your lie.. its still bad right?

Is an apology more accepted with a gift? Are words just not enough?

I am so sincere to people but I feel like people think I'm lying to them.
I'm pretty honest about anything. If I cant tell the truth I usually just shut up.
I mean there are some lies here and there but really unimportant things or really
stupid things that you know I'm lying about. Like if I say "I hung out with Jesus the other day
and Dave and Busters and had some shots of tequila" Then Its obvious that I'm not telling the truth.

I think my voice is too deep for the phone. Because no one can ever hear me. And to speak loudly is really annoying to do all day.


My friends cat ruined my thumb. It was like sliceeee, Bam, pow, boom.
And then my thumb hurt and bled.
But I was just playing rough with it because it likes to play.
But it need a trim on those claws.
Meow.

I want to get a new jorb and move
Got the move bug.
argh.


Mistletoe.. should be everywhere.
Then I could have an excuse to kiss you.
Not that I need one.

I'm not sure what the situation is with you anyways.
Are you single or not? You keep saying different things.
If you are not you should tell me, if you are you should tell me that too.
Because it sucks being in my position where you tell me you like me
but then confuse the hell out of me.
Not that I even care because I want you bad.
So your long distance bf is going to have to eat it.
Because I'm here in person for you.
And I'll take care of you baby ;]

hahahah

too bad she wont read that


Anyways Im at work and that's prolly why this entry is weird
talking on the phone while typing is hard.
Wednesday, May 27th, 2009
7:47 am
buy my fartz
He unruffled his sleeve
but there were no cards falling out
he farted
and it stank
mustard gas leaked out his canyon of an ass crack
the already miserable air was polluted with his stench
the thick aroma suffocated the occupants
Some quickly left the room covering their mouths
in a feeble attempt to filter the fart.
The gassy man laid out his cards
a royal flush
What a coincidence..
It seemed like he never used a toilet in his life.
This could all be solved if he had just ordered cable
tv from comcast for a low price of $55.95
you can see all the pooping you want on ondemand


I hate this job right now.
Saturday, May 23rd, 2009
7:32 pm
Oh KG.. your silly
Hotgirl (7:29:17 PM): you know liek when you hurt yourself you body makes liek water stuff to protect it
Hotgirl (7:29:28 PM): like bikers who hit there knees or arms a lot
me (7:29:49 PM): I think I know what your talking about
Hotgirl (7:29:54 PM): yea
Hotgirl (7:29:56 PM): my toe did that
me (7:30:01 PM): ah
Hotgirl (7:30:05 PM): its weird
me (7:30:09 PM): why did you wear those heels girl?
Hotgirl (7:30:21 PM): cuz i look fly in them
Hotgirl (7:30:39 PM): and i spent $80 on heels i have to wear them
me (7:31:17 PM): haha
me (7:31:19 PM): girls...
me (7:31:26 PM): you look fly anyway
Hotgirl Someone(girl) (7:31:34 PM): but they made my feet look fly
me (7:31:37 PM): lol
Sunday, April 12th, 2009
10:00 am
yesyesyes and never no
On the other side of the world there was a girl. She never felt in place, always said her life was messed up. She was a puzzle piece she told herself, a puzzle piece she didn't fit. Unable to connect with anyone she felt she was going to be alone forever. She became used to this feeling and decided that she was going to stay alone for good. But one day while on the internet she met a boy who had large corn hands and peed gasoline. She loved him and had his babies. They named all of them Fido Mcgerty. Lets face it, life's weird.



Ok so if you laugh and be positive ALL the time, life will be better.
Unfortunately getting out of the HABBIT of being negative.
This is my priority, to be positive only!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And STOP BEING NEGATIVE.

AND HIT STUART MORE :P
Friday, March 27th, 2009
10:34 am
Free writing: The eight bodies of man and conciousness.
All angles and abstract lines surrounded my ever shrinking casing. Boiling everything in contact with immenese heat. Not even a single singe would occur. Skin immediatly turned to boils, then expanded like bubbling wax over a fire. Tormented and chained down my mere whimpers of desperation that cried to a deaf god went unnoticed. When realization of my impending doom was made clear, I soon gave up on my attempts to fight it. My limbs loosend, and my eyes pourd the remainder of my soul to the floor. Slowly as my walls closed in, I waited to curiously watch my skin boil alive. I started on my back on one side and my hands on the other, I felt nothing as my nervs were instantly dead with contact. I didnt scream or plea, just watched as I saw myself disolve with no trace that I was even there. It closed in to my head as I started to lose conciousness. I could feel the heat on the small hairs of my face when suddenly I was in a dark place. I couldnt feel my body, or move any of my limbs, I couldnt really look around. It was as if I was just aware that my "body" was there. I could sense things in the far distance. I had an understanding of what I was to do, but no reasoning behind why, nor did I question it. I didnt have to breathe or move. I knew that my will was enough to get me to where I wanted to be. I thought of which direction I wanted to go and willed myself towards a light. I could "see" with what I would guess is my mind a silver line hanging from my "body". This was not a physical line and it was not always visable, it shimmered in the dark place that seemed to have no sides. I knew that to follow the string would lead me to the right direction. There was no sense of time, and no urge to hurry, and I also could not tell how fast my travel was. But In my formless body, it seemed possible that I could exceed the speeds of any object with form. I suddenly came to an area full of light fom what I could sense. There was no blinding for I could not see per say. There was no difference between dark and light for I could sense objects if I focused my intent to do so. The light seemed to be some sort of doorway and I moved into it...
Tuesday, March 24th, 2009
11:07 am
Dear ordinary
I tickle the metaphorical uvula of life, throwing up everything that I dont agree with. It travels up my and out of my body and I quickly flush it away from me in fear that it might find its way back. My mind is an ofice space, with the type writier quickly spilling out pages of thoughts before I have a chance to proof read them. Pass. They all pass. Printed into melodramatic centralist newpapers that no one will read or purchase. But it is time to fire all my neural employees, and to hire new thoughts. To make the headlines read more interesting statements. I am in much need of a new goverment of the mind, for my dictatorsip seems to have lost my citizens faith. I cling on with just my pinky, hoping to fall into the pits or reformation. I openly welcome all new things into my mind as I disect and discover what fits in my vast palace of thought. Let us pray that in my minds word we find peace. Let it then reflect on my outer self that I have found a purpose. Let it lead me to the correct path that I have been searching for. Stuck at the center of these crossroads, with nameless streets. I can only ask for guidance, and courage to trust my intuition. Dont fail me, me. Develope your will power to overcome any obsticle.

Current Mood: working
Wednesday, March 4th, 2009
7:24 am
Captian of the Sea: Tale of terror!
The waves gently slapped the side of my ship, swaying me back and forth. The cool ocean beeze accompanied by the hungry cries of the gulls waiting for a meal. I could see the sun peeking over the horizion deciding if it should start its daily journy to the west. Two hundred and thrirty five days, thats how long I have been the servant of the seas. I started off making my way from Singapore to Japan, then headed over to the Pillipines, Now Im headed for Australia. Ever since I was little I have been moving from Port to port with my father, he was a sailor of sorts. A pirate if you must. Stealing and selling the merchant goods. Now he wasnt the pirate that your thinking of, no. He didnt have a peg leg and a parrot, just sackcloth pants and an old tatterd shirt. He stool a hardly menacing 5' 6 and was a bag of bones, yet somehow people were freightend at the mention of his name, Daniel Cox. He would go by his pseudonym Captian Menacing Cox. He later invented cable and built the iffle tower with his man arms. Now I roam the sea selling his Cox cable to multiple countries. I stab and kick them till they agree to buy my cable service. So im really not a pirate, just a salesman.
Friday, February 27th, 2009
7:29 am
Fiction
I wake up to the sound of gods music. Hundreds of bullets dig through my walls piercing slowly through layers of wood and dry wall. I awake, emotions unstirred from rude awakening,. I get up slowly and feel the bullets whizzing by grazing my body with grace. Like a dance, I move in and out of the bullets as if I am dancing with each and every one. I look to my bed and kiss whats left of last nights affair, I really tore this one apart. Sure some people would call this murder, if thats how you want to see it. I call it .... release. You know not all people deserve to live, in fact most of us dont deserve to live. Hell, even I dont deserve it, but I dont see anyone trying to stop me, besides these bullets. I sneak into my hallway and exit through my attic towards the roof. I can see about a dozen swat agents scattered in an organized mess, littered with frightened expressions on their faces.
I snicker to myself at their foolishness and proceeded to make my escape through the roof tops of this god forsaken city. But then out of the darkness leaps a naked mole rat, it tore me down the middle. It was like a mutant ninja turtle with claws and a 35mm grasped in its claws.
I then peed my pants and it shot me in the foot and called me sissy. I tried to run away but my limbs wouldn't move.
"Stay where you are and no one gets buakake!", Threatened the mole human thing.
"Suck it!", I screamed. The mole rat simply replied, "with pleasure.."
Then I saw his shirt, it read "Time warner cable".
I pulled out my revolver and shot him right in the face.
"I hate Time Warner" I exclaimed.


Haha another serious story turned bad, I had you for a while.. right?
Tuesday, February 24th, 2009
2:53 pm
Top priorities
Fuck bitches
Fuck bitches
Fuck bitches
Fuck bitches
Fuck bitches
Fuck bitches
Fuck bitches
Fuck bitches
Fuck bitches
Fuck bitches
Fuck bitches
Fuck bitches
Get Rich
Make Music

and oh yeah
Fuck bitches
Tuesday, February 17th, 2009
8:42 am
damnit
I need coffe and a cigarette right now...........
Monday, February 9th, 2009
4:30 pm
Wednesday, January 28th, 2009
5:41 am
8 Hours of stupid
I have since forgotten your face. Nothing has slipped through the cracks to dribble on my mind. How silly is the heart, to cause such troubles? So easy is my heart to win? When I myself have not been won over? Indeed the heart and the mind are not conjoined in thought, or reason.

Now for some free writing.

The 20th phase of man. The mind congruent with body. Full potential has evolved. Over 1000 years of stimulation of the brain through continuous advanced learning has caused an explosion in Evolution. Caught in the middle of this transformation of mankind, is the older generations. Refusing to dumb down their new society, the new Hybrids as they call themselves force out the old generation like excrement. No longer needed to sustain the new economy. Yet, not everyone has evolved, there are still those who are born obsolete are ridiculed throughout their lives by others for not obtaining Cable service.

Just kidding but im at work and talking to customers at the same time while trying to type and I cant think!!!!!!!!! UGH! I hate being a CSR sometimes.
Tuesday, January 20th, 2009
9:05 am
Well
I should always follow my intuition! It knows best it seems...
I finally was direct and it was a good thing, lest I subject myself to such torture for any extended amount of time. It seems as though some people do not have a grasp on their morals to try to be a decent human being.

I have a huge urge to move. Like something inside is telling me to do it this year. And If I can help it... I might do so. But priority first!
1. GED or DIPLOMA!
2. PAY OFF CAR!
3. SAVE MONEY!
5. APPLY TO FIT!
6. MOVE!
Wednesday, January 14th, 2009
3:10 pm
What a liar
If I slipped into the knife and cut my throat id bleed on my last words while I choke out one more fuck you.
Sunday, January 11th, 2009
10:13 pm
Sage and fire
The concepts that you are ever so mending in your mind will go untold and I wither Grey and old. How I wish you could wrap me around you to keep you warm. But I keep memories in forms of dust to build up and keep me sane. Even if it just in this episode of my ever changing moments, the prelude to my chorus. I wish you to be my melody, but you have no desire to truly maintain such a perfect harmony. We cant fake who we are, and where we fit. In this world of puzzles we may find the similar picture but not our corresponding parts. I desire to be with you but feel it is not right. Is my intuition playing cat and mouse? My emotions and it chase each other endlessly yet I am the only one to witness the damages on me. Why cant I pour the water over the fire. Instead I blow the cold breeze soothing the flames which taunt me, with threats to engulf me. Oh august, can you creep so slowly? As I watch her go will I then know the answer? When these pages turn I will be refreshed. Let us hope for the best

What lies ahead for me?

Current Mood: confused
Thursday, January 8th, 2009
11:37 pm
Keep it lit
The flame is not about to die. I will fuel it forever and let it grow larger and larger. I know what path I should take. I know how to get there. I need to keep myself going.

I got a numerology report and its so... dead on that it freaks me and and intrigues me very much.
Here is some:


our soul urge is about the cultivation and expression of your personality. Usually this energy manifests as a great achievement in the theatrical or artistic world. You shine at any kind of activity that involves public performance including acting, singing or politics. In fact, you love performing so much that you would do it for free. Exhibiting your talents is second nature for you although many of you also develop lucrative careers from doing so as well.

If your talents are not developed it seems that your unique soul urge may also manifest itself in lesser ways such as the development of a beautiful speaking voice, a distinctive way of dressing or a talent for being the perfect host or hostess. You don't necessarily care who or how many people you make an impact on. If an opportunity presents itself where you can be the center of attention than you will take advantage of it.

Perhaps your biggest asset is your rich imagination. This is your inner treasure chest from which you find the solutions to all of your problems and every body else's as well. You also have an incredible knack for story telling and mesmerizing others with your tales. You adore the innocence of children and nothing makes your heart happier than the sound of a child's laughter.

However your tendency towards non-stop chatter sometimes works against you as others perceive it as self-centered or a way of stealing focus. Also you are so clever with words that it may be hard for others to ever win an argument with you or even get a word in edgewise. As a result, you may often be left behind or not invited to engage in discussion at all.

You really don't handle rejection well and if you can't get the approval you crave you have a natural tendency to retreat into your own little world. Isolation is very unhealthy for you, as your imagination tends to distort situations and create paranoia and suspicion where it need not exist. Rather than sulk about a professional or relationship set back your best course of action is to pick yourself up and try again. If depression still persists then you need to throw a pail of cold water over your burning ego by going out and doing a deliberate act of charity or philanthropy for those who are less fortunate than you do. Only this will truly serve the higher calling of your soul and have you viewing the world through rose colored glasses again.

A great sense of humor is also one of your greatest assets and if you were a doctor you would heal by helping others to "laugh themselves well." You can't bear pessimistic people or persons that take life too seriously and will go to great lengths to lighten up sober types up. A drawback of this is that sometimes others perceive you as saying inappropriate things or not respecting the belief or wishes of another. One of your challenges in life is to recognize that there is a critic in every crowd.

However, no critic could ever be as hard on you as you are with yourself. As you are a perfectionist and a master of timing and delivery, you take it very hard if for some reason you miss an opportunity. This is because you set standards and expectations of yourself that are very high. It is hard for you to realize that your low are most other people's highs and that the best remedy for feelings of failure is to count your blessings.
Wednesday, January 7th, 2009
10:25 pm
Heart and Mind Collide.
Oh heart. You fool. Letting on to believe you can attain arms. NO such thing will come. You can not hold on anyone. Oh mind, playing games. Nothing you believe will turn out the same. Oh life, how you lie. Mislead with but shadows of truth. The looming shadow cast behind all we are. We see not what is real, just thin film. Glaze us over with your illusions. Separation anxiety, it is what I feel truly. But I have become something numb and it has proved the best tuning. Strike my chords and I will ring strong. Let you hear the tunes of my song. Like a tide pool I grow vastly with life. But the mood decides on what lives and what dies. Oh heart do not grow new holes. Your cavities will only be filled with what was used and old. Our last chance at obtaining some heart was a mere shot in the dark. The arrow still flies and my eyes can not see you though. But I promise Ill hold on to every breath with you. Let us evolve ourselves and become new men. For we are years overdue for a shedding of skin.

I am happy.... I am healthy.. I am wealthy...

Current Mood: apathetic
Tuesday, January 6th, 2009
5:09 pm
To Edit or not to Edit
I will fix this up soon!
For now read something smart!



How you have felt, O men of Athens, at hearing the speeches of my accusers, I cannot tell; but I know that their persuasive words almost made me forget who I was - such was the effect of them; and yet they have hardly spoken a word of truth. But many as their falsehoods were, there was one of them which quite amazed me; - I mean when they told you to be upon your guard, and not to let yourselves be deceived by the force of my eloquence. They ought to have been ashamed of saying this, because they were sure to be detected as soon as I opened my lips and displayed my deficiency; they certainly did appear to be most shameless in saying this, unless by the force of eloquence they mean the force of truth; for then I do indeed admit that I am eloquent. But in how different a way from theirs! Well, as I was saying, they have hardly uttered a word, or not more than a word, of truth; but you shall hear from me the whole truth: not, however, delivered after their manner, in a set oration duly ornamented with words and phrases. No indeed! but I shall use the words and arguments which occur to me at the moment; for I am certain that this is right, and that at my time of life I ought not to be appearing before you, O men of Athens, in the character of a juvenile orator - let no one expect this of me. And I must beg of you to grant me one favor, which is this - If you hear me using the same words in my defence which I have been in the habit of using, and which most of you may have heard in the agora, and at the tables of the money-changers, or anywhere else, I would ask you not to be surprised at this, and not to interrupt me. For I am more than seventy years of age, and this is the first time that I have ever appeared in a court of law, and I am quite a stranger to the ways of the place; and therefore I would have you regard me as if I were really a stranger, whom you would excuse if he spoke in his native tongue, and after the fashion of his country; - that I think is not an unfair request. Never mind the manner, which may or may not be good; but think only of the justice of my cause, and give heed to that: let the judge decide justly and the speaker speak truly.  
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